*I'm back!*

Hello blog followers! Thank you for sticking it out with me- I have not written in awhile (almost 3 months)  so let me just fill you in. When I last wrote we had been out with the church group passing out Bibles, bible tracts, candy & invitations to our first ever community carnival. The carnival was held and it was a success-all of our volunteers were wonderful, the donations exceeded what I anticipated and everyone left happy full of hot dogs, baked beans, candy & popcorn. After the event I specifically had a time period of rest and took a semi back burner to volunteering for things because the planning took so much time and effort and energy…..I sure wish I could bottle up the energy of my kids and use it for times when I need it!
Things are still pressing forward at the church and it has been amazing to see what God has done in the short time we have been at Crystal Lake Baptist. We have seen several come to know Christ as their Savior, we have seen baptisms, kids eager to learn, adults being discipled, people growing and hearts changing. We even had a wedding this past Sunday to start off the morning service.

On a personal note :
My mom was on a ventilator in October and did not know where she was or how she got there for a few days-that was very scary, I did not know if her mental capacity would ever return. She got better and was discharged but, since then she has been in and out of the hospital with breathing trouble and currently has stage 3 COPD. She recently had a battle with pneumonia which landed her back in the hospital. That cleared up but her asthma and lung function are not where they need to be and her white blood cells are back up. She started today on another strong antibiotic so hoping she is discharged soon. Today starts week 3 of this hospital stay.

My grandfather who is only 71 had to be put into a home because of his Alzheimer’s and he is not currently in what they call “a lock down facility” and it is just assisted living. He has managed to escape 2 times total and this past weekend tried to get out again and they were able to stop him but he fell on his shoulder and they had to take him to the emergency room to make sure it was not broken. They will be moving him either this week or beginning of next week to a different facility.
We gained another little boy into our family as well, on October 13th DCF placed in our care Kash., currently on paper it is not official but the prayer is that he will be ours long term. He is two (almost three), he does not talk much and when he first came to us he was really skinny and didn’t want to eat much of anything and really introverted. He has gained 2 pounds since being with us, has been enjoying more foods (Even some vegetables!), has said a few words and starting to say some sentences with the encouragement of Jacob & I and the kids and the new friends at daycare. Prayerfully soon we have a full speech test and a possible MRI to see where we can go from here to get the best care for him.

What else you missed: We celebrated my 29th birthday, took the kids trick or treating (Kash had strep throat so he had to stay home), celebrated Alexanders 9th birthday, Thanksgiving with family & now Christmas is upon us. This week we have many things on the agenda as always and one being the church Christmas party with the $10 and under gift exchange game for the adults and at the same time we will have hot cocoa, games, crafts, gifts & more for the kids!

Looking forward:
SOON we will be renovating the baby nursery, implementing new awesome curriculum from Word of Life for the kids, a playground for the kids is in the works and so many more exciting things. It has been less then 6 months but we are for sure on fast forward and I thank God for His many blessings!

There is much to be said from others if we just take the time to listen.

I typically don’t take to Facebook to share some experiences for good reason but recently I have been very reflective-quiet and waiting and listening. So many times I get caught up in the busy of life that I don’t take time to sit and wait and listen to urging of the Holy Spirit who is the great teacher.

This past Saturday we went on a prayer walk and I prayed to have open eyes to see what was going on in the neighborhood right around the church-there were many people who were not outside but the ones that were the group we were with interacted and engaged with them and got to know a little about each one. The one that stuck out to me the most was a person by the name of Brian who recently his friend was killed by someone that came back at a later time to rob and ended up killing him after casing him out on a dating website. Brian who like countless others is hurting. Sunday at church for those that were able to go it was more of a reflective time as Jacob and the other men prayed for our community and the direction of the church.

One thing I have noticed since inviting the men to pray at the beginning of the service –EACH WEEK the numbers of men that come forward GROW.

Sunday afternoon while helping out after service someone from the neighborhood approached us as asked for some water-he was out of breath and tired and sweating and then asked for a ride to which Jacob was able to accommodate. From what I understand his shirt was torn and could have possibly been in a fight before coming onto our property.

Monday at work there was someone in tears because they were seeking a job and feared to lose everything and also really just needed comforting-after much conversation there was an invitation to church and our event for the family of 5.

Today there was someone who came in who also lost their house and rode their bike to apply for a job-through conversation this person is homeless and doing what they can to get back on their feet. I packed extra food because the day has errands to be run after work and now at least for lunch this person has food in their stomach.

I am NOT tooting my own horn. I want all to understand that this is not just a job for Jacob, nor just a place for our family to come and volunteer our time and energy at-this is our lifestyle. The time spent in prayer on our knees for where we are now has been such a long time coming to be answered and I am so thankful for Godly leadership from a wonderful man-the added benefit is that I am married to him.

There is much to be said from others if we just take the time to listen.

Please stay in prayer as we move forward as a church-not just our church but all of the churches that claim no other god than our God and salvation through Jesus Christ through repentance of sins-there is so much work to be done!

It's been awhile....

It has been awhile since I posted. So much has been going on that I just lost track of blogging. In some moments of stress after talking to my husband he said "have you blogged,it might make you feel better". Since the last time I posted about Alexis my mind has been even more in a whirlwind.  We never heard from her again. I wonder if after her birthday she got on that bus back home to New York to her family or if she is still living in the woods. I wonder if she read the Bible that was given to her. I know the Word won't return void but I just wonder how she is doing. You know how they catch animals in the wild and place tags on them to track their migrating habits or where they go to spawn their eggs-i wish we could do that to those we share the gospel with. If you can't walk side by side with them and are only able to share it in passing then it would be unique to see how it changes them with a peek into their lives. Then again maybe it wouldn't a good thing to see how they are doing. Maybe the gospel for the time now didn't change them and they are still living the way they were lost in their selfish actions.
After Alexis we had a few church members that were in the hospital unexpectedly and we got even more sad gut wrenching news. Things creep in and try and attack your armor when you least expect it. There was a woman we were asked to pray for. Her and her young child were sexually assaulted and they needed prayer. My heart was a mess that evening. As I tried to get my mind in order for visitations I remember being so unbelievably nervous on what to do if we ever got an emergency call that I wouldn't know what to do but when the time came I was in "go" mode and got things together and lined up childcare and just wanted to be there for the people that were hurting that we couldn't drive fast enough.
We were able to visit the church member but due to patient advocacy and privacy and the nature of the things that had happened we were unable to reach out to the young woman that evening. My heart still breaks for them. :( 
Fast forward to the next week and nothing large happened but small things here and there that wear you down and also things that excite you. We spend as much time allows on weekends to help clean things and move stuff around and make calls but time still slips away. I had the unique opportunity this last weekend after Sunday morning service that during the week since I am working I don't get to do, I got to go with out little family to visitations and I loved it! There were some that were in physical rehab but still had smiles on their face, there were some that were unable to move out of bed but were still happy to see us. We are doing what we have wanted to do after all these years. Loving on people and showing them the love of Christ.

I am so proud of Jacob. I know we look young but I assure you that this time in a couple of months we have been together for 15 years. 15 years sounds long but oh how fast it has gone by! Through family life, homelessness, ramen noodle nights, military life, moves across the world and country, buying a home, having a family.. .I thought I was proud before for all of the accomplishments and life milestones but nothing makes me more proud then now. Watching him lead a church and watching God use him as His mouthpiece makes me tear up every Sunday as we are getting the family ready to go out the door. His heart is with God and with the people God has entrusted him with. The care he takes in all of his hours of sermon prep and his hard work around the church and when he talks about future plans down the road just makes me so happy.  I am excited because he is excited.
Following God and doing what the Bible says doesn't always make you popular and we are okay with that. I am just thankful that He picked us to be where we are at Crystal Lake Baptist. If you are ever in the area of Lakeland,Fl-look us up. 1000 Mt. Airy Ave

Be Witnesses

Completion of week one. It has been a crazy busy week. I won't lay it off on you because the small details aren't important.
One thing I used to not be able to do was be flexible with schedules. I used to have to control each aspect of each day and block out time and then make plans for months out. I used to plan at the time our only childs birthday out 6 months to work out the details. Not anymore. The time my husband spent in the military taught me to throw all schedules out the window.
Generally our days start early and end late. Some days I am tired, other days I wonder who else we have time to help because midnight hasn't even made its way around yet.
Today Jacob preached another awesome sermon this morning as always. Didn't expect one thing though-the power of God's word that HE used Jacob to preach was so powerful and lovingly convicting. We have been going through the book of Thessalonians and we just started in chapter 4. Through this we went through select scriptures in all four Gospels and in Acts to review the great commission. I can never type or express the emotion of today from the sermon so if I am able to later I'll upload the audio.
I'm pretty sure Jesus broke me today again to remind me of His great commission. During the sermon a question was presented to us all after he talked about being Jesus's witnesses as it was listed in the scripture in Acts listed here:
Acts 1:6-11English Standard Version (ESV)

The Ascension

⁶ So when they had come together, they asked him, “Lord, will you at this time restore the kingdom to Israel?” ⁷ He said to them, “It is not for you to know times or seasons that the Father has fixed by his own authority. ⁸ But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.” ⁹ And when he had said these things, as they were looking on, he was lifted up, and a cloud took him out of their sight. ¹⁰ And while they were gazing into heaven as he went, behold, two men stood by them in white robes, ¹¹ and said, “Men of Galilee, why do you stand looking into heaven? This Jesus, who was taken up from you into heaven, will come in the same way as you saw him go into heaven.”

-----------
The question was if we are His witnesses then why are we not witnessing? How many people by a show of hands this week have you told someone about Jesus and that they need a savior and what it is they needed saving from. I'll tell you how many raised their hands in a bit.

In the audio that will be posted its told that Saturday we had Jehovah witnesses come to our home. They were two ladies and after spending some time with them one lady with a scrunched up face said (I'm paraphrasing from memory) "if you believe in Jesus then how come I have never seen you come to my door to tell me what you believe"
Some very strong words.
If we are His witnesses then why aren't we witnessing?

Fast forward to tonight. It went in a way that I'm still thinking about and I'm staying up later then expected to type it to you. We were at church late and had other things to do to get ready for the first day of school and the start of the work week. We got an offer for dinner but declined because we had a visit to a church member that hasn't been able to make it due to health. Then we had something that came up so we went around the corner to the McDonalds to counsel with someone because we had not had dinner yet so it worked out for all involved. We get to McDonald's & park,get out and I'm so busy even though it's dark I didn't check my surroundings. The person meeting with us said they'd be inside in a minute so we headed in to order our food. Sitting on the sidewalk is a young girl who asks for money from my husband. #1 rule of ours is to not hand out money #2 we don't have any cash ever so we offer to buy her something so Jacob asks her what she wants and she said anything. He then offers her to come in and pick what she wants. While standing in line we introduce the family and make small talk. She ordered 20 piece nuggets no sauce and a drink.

We at first didn't get the chance to sit and talk as we had to counsel with someone but before she left we got the chance to sit down and chat for awhile. Turns out she's only 25, from New York and is living in the woods nearby because she's homeless because recently her ex boyfriend committed murder and is now in jail. She's bipolar and from the scars on her arms and admittedly she used to cut herself. As I watch God work and use my husband's loving words to tell her about Jesus she begins to open up more. I wish we could have talked all night. She chatted about her family and her siblings and how her mom is Italian and how she doesn't like asking for help and she remembers a few Bible verses that her grandparents went over with her when they were still alive. Alexis is a real human being with hard stuff in her life. She's only 25. The world had her in it's never ending cycle of hopefulness and no regard for the future because she's in a hole so deep she probably hasn't ever had relief. She left McDonald's with a Bible in her hands and our #s if she needs us. 

Nothing is ever by chance. God put her there. For jake to reach her and for me to learn how to reach others. 

Now to the number of people that raised their hands out of approximately 50 adults . Including my husband...4. I was heart broken.  And by the looks of it so was my husband. I'm sad to say that I was not one of the 4. It really was a gut check. Yeah I talk about Jesus and church because that is our life but last week I didn't share the gospel.

We never made it to the church members home and I'll have to get our oldest stuff together early tomorrow morning before he wakes up and wash bottles to take to the sitter's house but prayerfully Alexis has hope. Prayerfully she'll get home. Prayerfully she'll have peace in Jesus. Please pray for her. 

Be available. Be flexible. Be witnesses.

I make it a point this week to tell somone about Jesus. Can you try also? 

Always on time

No blog post since Sunday so here is an update. Whew!. It's Wednesday and only half way through the week and I feel like we've been going 90 mph since Sunday. It has all been wonderful! Sunday evening there was a fellowship dinner and Monday was my husband's first day in the office and there was a conference. Tuesday was visitation day & we squeezed in a lunch date (I live for dates with my husband!) Today was a meeting and Wednesday sermon and tomorrow and Friday are still in store.
I wish I could help take some of the load off and get my hands dirty but I work full time. I do have my lunch breaks and currently I watch cooking shows on Netflix as some down time. When I get my bearings it will be used more wisely like calling members to say hi and check in or writing in blank cards encouraging words to someone.
I am so thankful to God that we are here. I still can't believe it. The way God lined every plan and every turn and guarded us when we needed it and it really is awe inspiring.
On the schedule are upcoming meetings and outreach events and counselings and other things for my husband to work on.
We wouldn't have it any other way.
One of the things that we waited for and prayed for so long is here.
Right now.
For the rest of our lives.
God is always on time. I remember reading a Psalm once and I'll leave it here for you to read. If you are struggling and in your season of waiting just know there is always hope and God has a plan for you and is working through your situation.

13:1-6 ESV How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?How long will you hide your face from me? 2 How long must I take counsel in my soul
and have sorrow in my heart all the day?
How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?
3 Consider and answer me, O Lord my God;
light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death,
4 lest my enemy say, “I have prevailed over him,”
lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken.
5 But I have trusted in your steadfast love;
My heart shall rejoice in your salvation.
6 I will sing to the Lord, because he has dealt bountifully with me.

Today is the day

Today is the day, the long awaited voting day!
Things started out good this morning, got up, got the kids ready, packed the diaper bag, drank coffee and loaded into the car.
Went through the drive thru to get breakfast. Got to the church early for the first time in a long time but when we all got out of the car only 2 pages of a 5 or 6 page sermon was there. No problem! Since we are early I'll just drive back home and get the rest of or reprint the whole document. Then I get stuck by a unmoving train so I turn around and go to the house... the long way. By this time it is 9:35am, no worries I still have time to go around and then get back to the church before church starts. I was beside myself thinking of all of the things that could go wrong today or how it wouldn't go and by this time I've carried maybe 3 times.
Who can I call? Everyone I know that I could call that would pray for me are in church or going through their own life stuff. There has to be someone I can call to talk this out with!
I thought of someone to call but they teach a Sunday school class but I hit the call button anyway. "Please answer, please answer, please, please please" there was finally a sweet hello on the other end!
My immediate question was "did I catch you at a bad time" "I'm just teaching a Sunday school class but we have one child -whats going on?" I immediately thought of everything I wanted to say but I wanted to make it fast so I quickly let go of what I had on my mind and what had happened that morning -the abridged version & this sweet woman prayed for me right then. "Thank you Jesus!"
I did feel better and knew I had more that needed to be done to get back to church on time.
I get to the house and found the rest of the sermon notes just hanging out on the couch. Grabbed the notes, put them in the passenger seat secured by my bag of breakfast -oh boy i haven't even eaten breakfast yet. I then back out of the drive way and then drive back in again..."wait did I lock the door?" I parked the car and then got back out again. The door was securely locked so I went back to the car.
On the road again.  I ate breakfast on the way.
I got back to the church and I gave Jacob his notes and then was able to relax...a bit.
Sunday school  was almost over so I just decided to sit and wait it out. There were others in the sanctuary getting ready for the service. Everyone seemed just as anxious as me except for Jacob, he is always so calm. He's my rock.
As everyone came in after Sunday School they all greeted us and wished me luck for today.
I had a friend that was there for moral support that had been outside of the situation and that was very helpful for me since my husband had to be behind the pulpit. :)
The service started and I was relaxed by the known schedule of the service and it put my mind at ease. After the singing, Jacob started preaching -then I really relaxed. He always preaches from his heart and if God wanted us to be here, we would be here and if my husband was okay and content then so was I.  If the vote was not for us we would have our group that has stuck with us in the good and the bad go with us.
During and after the  sermon on Revelation 5 that was expounded on I really was okay and content. After the altar call Jacob and I stepped out while the vote was going on. I had the chance to see what could be Jacob's office and it is very beautiful. Nice and spacious and own bathroom and just room to really work in.
He said no matter what he was content. I knew he had done everything that thus far God had sent him to do. He has been the fill in pastor for quite some time and we have really grown to love the people and the church and can't wait to reach the neighborhood.
It didn't take long for the minister of music to come back and get us. He was smiling. They said yes. 97.8% yes! We stepped back into the sanctuary and everyone was smiling and then they all clapped.
My husband is now the full time pastor. I am so proud of him. My friend snapped some photos I will cherish. My favorite is of my husband on his knees thanking God for what has taken place.

5 years ago today he came home from Kuwait and touched feet back on American soil. Today he was voted in as full time pastor. We are home and have found our church home. 

Wow.

This is only the beginning, there is so much work to be done but we are ready.
I'm on cloud 9 & thankful to God and I can't wait to see what is next.

My Family is My Heart

This is something really close to my heart so #1-this post might get really personal, #2 –this post might be long.

 

My family is very special to me.  I always wanted a family of my own since I was a little girl. A home with love and laughter and pitter patter feet and home cooked meals. After 10 years of marriage and 2 kids, I have grown very fond of what my husband and I have worked hard for.

 

As our oldest gets older and his younger brother follows in his footsteps, we have done our work as parents and laid the foundation of how and what God wants our kids to be and we will continue to do so.

 

As time goes on we will have to let go of the rope a little bit and let them go into the world on their own. The reality is that as much as I want to, I can’t control every aspect of their lives. They have to make their own mistakes. Because of the nature of my husband’s job and calling, this will potentially all be done in the midst of the church. I know that personally thoughts and words may be said towards us as parents but my prayer is that no one goes to our kids to smear our names or their names.  That will only make them eventually possibly resent the church.

 

I had a heart to heart with my oldest last night- I’ll spare you the details for now but I basically told him that as long as he is being good and doing what God wants Him to do to not listen to what anyone says about him because everyone makes mistakes.

 

Another thing I have seen happen and pray doesn’t happen to us is that so many sensitive issues are discussed in front of pastor’s children-not only should they not hear it due to confidentiality but in certain subject matters, it is not okay for kids to hear. They are only kids for a little while, please help me protect their minds and  hearts  and discuss certain issues on a meeting basis-not while we are standing  in  the foyer telling everyone goodbye. Sometimes this may include general but complaints.

I'm not ignorant in my thinking that I can shield my kids from everything because I know things come up. We've had recent real chats as a family about homosexual marriage, police shootings and terrorist attacks all on a 8 year old level, as these things come up we just talk it out. I wish my parents would have done that with me.

 

Sometimes I want to cover my son's ears and say "lalalaalala you didn't hear that" ...but I can't so in some conversations I may excuse myself. We don't mind waiting for my husband while you talk things out, we are professional tic tac toe players and I spy champions , I may even have a few crayons and snack in my purse for them because we don't ever know how long a meeting may take and that is okay.

 

My oldest is a patient, kind, loving, tender hearted child who love and are proud of their dad & so am I. Our youngest will learn the same. 

 

We will keep protecting our sweet little family. <3

We are not perfect and neither are our kids. Please don’t paint us in that light because we will let you down.

Today was a great day!

Today at church we started our service with a baptism! Jorge Andy Rivera made a decision to follow Christ this past Thursday and immediately followed through with baptism. This week has been a week of ups and downs but this really just made it all worth it. These are the days that we live for.
After baptism Jacob preached a powerful message from John 15 & the parable of the lost sheep and how we as the called out ones have to go to the dark places and show them Jesus and that it may cost us something but the time and love and money that you give is worth it!
One thing Jacob said in his sermon is we have to labor in prayer over the lost people. I never thought of it like that. Although the holy spirit and God does the work, we have to give our part also. We have to labor in prayer over them. Labor is an action word-like in school a verb-"it's what you do". People have laboring jobs, women experience labor before their children are born, it is hard earned work . Laboring over people in prayer has results of saved souls!

Let the Angels rejoice! Andy is no longer in the dark place -he has hope. I have had the chance to see the difference in him in just a short time. He is at peace.

I pray that the peace of God is with you today and always as you are living your daily life. I pray that when hard times come that you know that you have a comforter that you can go to.

If you don't, please feel free to message me and we can talk about it.

After the amazing service it was brought forward by the pastor search committee that next week there be a vote for the members to vote on Jacob being their full time pastor.
I pray for God's will! Letting go of control and letting God take the wheel.
We have grown to love these church members for some time now as a fill in pastor.

Stay tuned!

Perfectly Imperfect

Many times in the support role of our spouses, we can get caught up in what we think the congregation expect us to be. Typically, in most cases (not all) when your family lives in the spotlight you all of a sudden have a sometimes never-ending list of rules that may be expected of you as the pastor's wife. Here are a few in no particular order:
#1 be in the choir
#2 run a Bible study on a Sunday morning or a small group
#3 organize fellowship dinners & sign up to bring one of the meats on the list.
#4 be in the nursery
#5 know scripture....by heart and quote where it is in the Bible
#6 The rest isn't really a single thing that can be done but are other things that are expected; certain dress attire, expectations of my children, phone calls to members, visitations, help with bulletins, sign up to volunteer for anything else that I didn't list before, cook in the church kitchen if needed, volunteer for vacation bible school.....and on and on and on.
Sounds tiring doesn't it?
What is all boils down to is an expectation of unrealistic perfectionism.
I am perfectly imperfect.
 Of the above listed here is the actual list of what I am:
#1 I can't sing very well and every time I try, it becomes an idol and I want to sing more then I want God so unless urged by the Holy Spirit I avoid it like the plague.
#2 I am not an adult Bible  study leader and I may not ever be. I do better with kids. They are more forgiving.
#3 I enjoy cooking when I have time but 5 of the 7 days out of the week we are busy so if I sign up for food you'll likely see a Taco Bell 12 pack on the table or some other premade processed deliciousness. Mild sauce anyone?
#4 sure I'll sign up for a Sunday on a rotation since my youngest is in there but please don't expect to see me in there every Sunday. I need spiritual renewal from the sermon just like all of the volunteer staff do.
#5 I can't even remember what I did last week, and while I do my Bible study- Google is my best friend please be patient while I look it up for you.
#6 while I struggle to make sure we all leave at a decent time to pick up the rest of the people that want to go to church and stuff us in like sardines into our Ford Focus- I'm thankful I'm not in my pajamas but even still someone will either think or say what they want about the way I'm dressed. My kids aren't perfect. Our oldest is well behaved and our youngest is just a baby-as they grow please be kind to them because they are watching how others in the church treat them and I don't want them resenting church as they get older. The others in this section don't need much elaboration.
 When I was so stressed and crying over what the expectation would be of me when the role of pastor's wife began my husband assured me the only expectation that I had to be was just me. I am a pastor wife and I am very proud to be. I am also still me. I work full time, I love Christ's church & I'll do anything to help you. My #1 job is to support my husband with love and prayer & my #2 job is to help raise our kids.  Often times with such stigmatism on what to be or not be in this role, no matter what we are criticized. Sometimes we are lonely if the unrealistic expectation list is there because for whatever reason people don't want to befriend us. Befriend your pastor wife. Love and encourage her. Bring her coffee because if she's anything like me, she is often tired. Before you befriend her please remember she is not perfect.

Hello World!

Introduction: today is my first blog post! I intend for this to be a written outlet for myself as well as an insight to the support of the front lines of ministry. I am not an English major so this blog may have a lot of grammatical errors-that may change over time. My husband is a pastor. We have 2 kids, A is 8 & N is 10 months old. My husband and I just celebrated our 10 year wedding anniversary last week. I lost track on when our ministry time frame started but it's been about 4 years now.
I remember thinking to myself "I will never be able to help with ministry" at the time when my husband made his conversion, I didn't want to.
I was being stubborn and instead of thinking I was flawed as you hear people say, "God can never use me" -I just didn't want to have any part of it because I knew it meant that I would have to change. I was set in my ways. I watched things on TV I knew weren't pleasing to God, I had a drinking problem, I had a filthy mouth and I didn't want to change it. I had a sin problem. Prior to the true conversion, sadly I was a nominal Christian. I claimed Christ by name but did not know Christ or what He wanted from me. I sure didn't expect to be used by Him in any good way because I had caused some damage by being nominal for so long. I had my ticket to heaven because I had said a prayer and walked an aisle but I was just as lost as I was on the day I walked the aisle at church.
Being at a crossroads in life is one thing and can be a hard thing to go through but being at a crossroads where Jesus meets you where you are is completely different. You realize you have probably one last time to make a choice. To follow Him or to turn away.
Now I know I said this was an introduction so this post will be wrapped up soon but I remember the evening like it was yesterday. Something came up at home and the exact circumstances I don't remember what they were or why I was upset but I remember telling my husband that I was basically tired of things not going the "right" way- like my little bit of praying was going to make things better ultimately when nothing else was changing in my life (later I learned because I still wasn't doing what I needed to do) and he asked me "how often are you reading your Bible?" - I was mad when he asked me this question but I had a reluctant answer of..."not often" & he then asked "well how often is not often?" ...."well I read it Wednesday in Bible study." ...it was now Saturday evening. He then lovingly said "when are you going to make a change?" The question wasn't answered that evening but it was more of a reflective question. I started in the book of Acts and I prayed for wisdom and it started. The changes came slowly, but they came. I later confessed to my husband and told him thank you. If it not had been for him and his question and ultimately Jesus using him to meet me where I was that night I wouldn't be where I am. I was ready to walk away from it all. Looking back I can't believe I was willing to turn my back on Jesus. I was going to make a choice to leave Him behind to fulfill what I wanted in life. So many people we know do that very thing with their lives & I am sure that you know people also. It is the saddest thing for me to see in ministry(but that is another blog post entirely).
God wants more then your Wednesday, Sunday & your 10%. Take your steps toward doing the right thing.

Thanks for reading! More to come!