It's been awhile....

It has been awhile since I posted. So much has been going on that I just lost track of blogging. In some moments of stress after talking to my husband he said "have you blogged,it might make you feel better". Since the last time I posted about Alexis my mind has been even more in a whirlwind.  We never heard from her again. I wonder if after her birthday she got on that bus back home to New York to her family or if she is still living in the woods. I wonder if she read the Bible that was given to her. I know the Word won't return void but I just wonder how she is doing. You know how they catch animals in the wild and place tags on them to track their migrating habits or where they go to spawn their eggs-i wish we could do that to those we share the gospel with. If you can't walk side by side with them and are only able to share it in passing then it would be unique to see how it changes them with a peek into their lives. Then again maybe it wouldn't a good thing to see how they are doing. Maybe the gospel for the time now didn't change them and they are still living the way they were lost in their selfish actions.
After Alexis we had a few church members that were in the hospital unexpectedly and we got even more sad gut wrenching news. Things creep in and try and attack your armor when you least expect it. There was a woman we were asked to pray for. Her and her young child were sexually assaulted and they needed prayer. My heart was a mess that evening. As I tried to get my mind in order for visitations I remember being so unbelievably nervous on what to do if we ever got an emergency call that I wouldn't know what to do but when the time came I was in "go" mode and got things together and lined up childcare and just wanted to be there for the people that were hurting that we couldn't drive fast enough.
We were able to visit the church member but due to patient advocacy and privacy and the nature of the things that had happened we were unable to reach out to the young woman that evening. My heart still breaks for them. :( 
Fast forward to the next week and nothing large happened but small things here and there that wear you down and also things that excite you. We spend as much time allows on weekends to help clean things and move stuff around and make calls but time still slips away. I had the unique opportunity this last weekend after Sunday morning service that during the week since I am working I don't get to do, I got to go with out little family to visitations and I loved it! There were some that were in physical rehab but still had smiles on their face, there were some that were unable to move out of bed but were still happy to see us. We are doing what we have wanted to do after all these years. Loving on people and showing them the love of Christ.

I am so proud of Jacob. I know we look young but I assure you that this time in a couple of months we have been together for 15 years. 15 years sounds long but oh how fast it has gone by! Through family life, homelessness, ramen noodle nights, military life, moves across the world and country, buying a home, having a family.. .I thought I was proud before for all of the accomplishments and life milestones but nothing makes me more proud then now. Watching him lead a church and watching God use him as His mouthpiece makes me tear up every Sunday as we are getting the family ready to go out the door. His heart is with God and with the people God has entrusted him with. The care he takes in all of his hours of sermon prep and his hard work around the church and when he talks about future plans down the road just makes me so happy.  I am excited because he is excited.
Following God and doing what the Bible says doesn't always make you popular and we are okay with that. I am just thankful that He picked us to be where we are at Crystal Lake Baptist. If you are ever in the area of Lakeland,Fl-look us up. 1000 Mt. Airy Ave

Be Witnesses

Completion of week one. It has been a crazy busy week. I won't lay it off on you because the small details aren't important.
One thing I used to not be able to do was be flexible with schedules. I used to have to control each aspect of each day and block out time and then make plans for months out. I used to plan at the time our only childs birthday out 6 months to work out the details. Not anymore. The time my husband spent in the military taught me to throw all schedules out the window.
Generally our days start early and end late. Some days I am tired, other days I wonder who else we have time to help because midnight hasn't even made its way around yet.
Today Jacob preached another awesome sermon this morning as always. Didn't expect one thing though-the power of God's word that HE used Jacob to preach was so powerful and lovingly convicting. We have been going through the book of Thessalonians and we just started in chapter 4. Through this we went through select scriptures in all four Gospels and in Acts to review the great commission. I can never type or express the emotion of today from the sermon so if I am able to later I'll upload the audio.
I'm pretty sure Jesus broke me today again to remind me of His great commission. During the sermon a question was presented to us all after he talked about being Jesus's witnesses as it was listed in the scripture in Acts listed here:
Acts 1:6-11English Standard Version (ESV)

The Ascension

⁶ So when they had come together, they asked him, “Lord, will you at this time restore the kingdom to Israel?” ⁷ He said to them, “It is not for you to know times or seasons that the Father has fixed by his own authority. ⁸ But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.” ⁹ And when he had said these things, as they were looking on, he was lifted up, and a cloud took him out of their sight. ¹⁰ And while they were gazing into heaven as he went, behold, two men stood by them in white robes, ¹¹ and said, “Men of Galilee, why do you stand looking into heaven? This Jesus, who was taken up from you into heaven, will come in the same way as you saw him go into heaven.”

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The question was if we are His witnesses then why are we not witnessing? How many people by a show of hands this week have you told someone about Jesus and that they need a savior and what it is they needed saving from. I'll tell you how many raised their hands in a bit.

In the audio that will be posted its told that Saturday we had Jehovah witnesses come to our home. They were two ladies and after spending some time with them one lady with a scrunched up face said (I'm paraphrasing from memory) "if you believe in Jesus then how come I have never seen you come to my door to tell me what you believe"
Some very strong words.
If we are His witnesses then why aren't we witnessing?

Fast forward to tonight. It went in a way that I'm still thinking about and I'm staying up later then expected to type it to you. We were at church late and had other things to do to get ready for the first day of school and the start of the work week. We got an offer for dinner but declined because we had a visit to a church member that hasn't been able to make it due to health. Then we had something that came up so we went around the corner to the McDonalds to counsel with someone because we had not had dinner yet so it worked out for all involved. We get to McDonald's & park,get out and I'm so busy even though it's dark I didn't check my surroundings. The person meeting with us said they'd be inside in a minute so we headed in to order our food. Sitting on the sidewalk is a young girl who asks for money from my husband. #1 rule of ours is to not hand out money #2 we don't have any cash ever so we offer to buy her something so Jacob asks her what she wants and she said anything. He then offers her to come in and pick what she wants. While standing in line we introduce the family and make small talk. She ordered 20 piece nuggets no sauce and a drink.

We at first didn't get the chance to sit and talk as we had to counsel with someone but before she left we got the chance to sit down and chat for awhile. Turns out she's only 25, from New York and is living in the woods nearby because she's homeless because recently her ex boyfriend committed murder and is now in jail. She's bipolar and from the scars on her arms and admittedly she used to cut herself. As I watch God work and use my husband's loving words to tell her about Jesus she begins to open up more. I wish we could have talked all night. She chatted about her family and her siblings and how her mom is Italian and how she doesn't like asking for help and she remembers a few Bible verses that her grandparents went over with her when they were still alive. Alexis is a real human being with hard stuff in her life. She's only 25. The world had her in it's never ending cycle of hopefulness and no regard for the future because she's in a hole so deep she probably hasn't ever had relief. She left McDonald's with a Bible in her hands and our #s if she needs us. 

Nothing is ever by chance. God put her there. For jake to reach her and for me to learn how to reach others. 

Now to the number of people that raised their hands out of approximately 50 adults . Including my husband...4. I was heart broken.  And by the looks of it so was my husband. I'm sad to say that I was not one of the 4. It really was a gut check. Yeah I talk about Jesus and church because that is our life but last week I didn't share the gospel.

We never made it to the church members home and I'll have to get our oldest stuff together early tomorrow morning before he wakes up and wash bottles to take to the sitter's house but prayerfully Alexis has hope. Prayerfully she'll get home. Prayerfully she'll have peace in Jesus. Please pray for her. 

Be available. Be flexible. Be witnesses.

I make it a point this week to tell somone about Jesus. Can you try also? 

Always on time

No blog post since Sunday so here is an update. Whew!. It's Wednesday and only half way through the week and I feel like we've been going 90 mph since Sunday. It has all been wonderful! Sunday evening there was a fellowship dinner and Monday was my husband's first day in the office and there was a conference. Tuesday was visitation day & we squeezed in a lunch date (I live for dates with my husband!) Today was a meeting and Wednesday sermon and tomorrow and Friday are still in store.
I wish I could help take some of the load off and get my hands dirty but I work full time. I do have my lunch breaks and currently I watch cooking shows on Netflix as some down time. When I get my bearings it will be used more wisely like calling members to say hi and check in or writing in blank cards encouraging words to someone.
I am so thankful to God that we are here. I still can't believe it. The way God lined every plan and every turn and guarded us when we needed it and it really is awe inspiring.
On the schedule are upcoming meetings and outreach events and counselings and other things for my husband to work on.
We wouldn't have it any other way.
One of the things that we waited for and prayed for so long is here.
Right now.
For the rest of our lives.
God is always on time. I remember reading a Psalm once and I'll leave it here for you to read. If you are struggling and in your season of waiting just know there is always hope and God has a plan for you and is working through your situation.

13:1-6 ESV How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?How long will you hide your face from me? 2 How long must I take counsel in my soul
and have sorrow in my heart all the day?
How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?
3 Consider and answer me, O Lord my God;
light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death,
4 lest my enemy say, “I have prevailed over him,”
lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken.
5 But I have trusted in your steadfast love;
My heart shall rejoice in your salvation.
6 I will sing to the Lord, because he has dealt bountifully with me.

Today is the day

Today is the day, the long awaited voting day!
Things started out good this morning, got up, got the kids ready, packed the diaper bag, drank coffee and loaded into the car.
Went through the drive thru to get breakfast. Got to the church early for the first time in a long time but when we all got out of the car only 2 pages of a 5 or 6 page sermon was there. No problem! Since we are early I'll just drive back home and get the rest of or reprint the whole document. Then I get stuck by a unmoving train so I turn around and go to the house... the long way. By this time it is 9:35am, no worries I still have time to go around and then get back to the church before church starts. I was beside myself thinking of all of the things that could go wrong today or how it wouldn't go and by this time I've carried maybe 3 times.
Who can I call? Everyone I know that I could call that would pray for me are in church or going through their own life stuff. There has to be someone I can call to talk this out with!
I thought of someone to call but they teach a Sunday school class but I hit the call button anyway. "Please answer, please answer, please, please please" there was finally a sweet hello on the other end!
My immediate question was "did I catch you at a bad time" "I'm just teaching a Sunday school class but we have one child -whats going on?" I immediately thought of everything I wanted to say but I wanted to make it fast so I quickly let go of what I had on my mind and what had happened that morning -the abridged version & this sweet woman prayed for me right then. "Thank you Jesus!"
I did feel better and knew I had more that needed to be done to get back to church on time.
I get to the house and found the rest of the sermon notes just hanging out on the couch. Grabbed the notes, put them in the passenger seat secured by my bag of breakfast -oh boy i haven't even eaten breakfast yet. I then back out of the drive way and then drive back in again..."wait did I lock the door?" I parked the car and then got back out again. The door was securely locked so I went back to the car.
On the road again.  I ate breakfast on the way.
I got back to the church and I gave Jacob his notes and then was able to relax...a bit.
Sunday school  was almost over so I just decided to sit and wait it out. There were others in the sanctuary getting ready for the service. Everyone seemed just as anxious as me except for Jacob, he is always so calm. He's my rock.
As everyone came in after Sunday School they all greeted us and wished me luck for today.
I had a friend that was there for moral support that had been outside of the situation and that was very helpful for me since my husband had to be behind the pulpit. :)
The service started and I was relaxed by the known schedule of the service and it put my mind at ease. After the singing, Jacob started preaching -then I really relaxed. He always preaches from his heart and if God wanted us to be here, we would be here and if my husband was okay and content then so was I.  If the vote was not for us we would have our group that has stuck with us in the good and the bad go with us.
During and after the  sermon on Revelation 5 that was expounded on I really was okay and content. After the altar call Jacob and I stepped out while the vote was going on. I had the chance to see what could be Jacob's office and it is very beautiful. Nice and spacious and own bathroom and just room to really work in.
He said no matter what he was content. I knew he had done everything that thus far God had sent him to do. He has been the fill in pastor for quite some time and we have really grown to love the people and the church and can't wait to reach the neighborhood.
It didn't take long for the minister of music to come back and get us. He was smiling. They said yes. 97.8% yes! We stepped back into the sanctuary and everyone was smiling and then they all clapped.
My husband is now the full time pastor. I am so proud of him. My friend snapped some photos I will cherish. My favorite is of my husband on his knees thanking God for what has taken place.

5 years ago today he came home from Kuwait and touched feet back on American soil. Today he was voted in as full time pastor. We are home and have found our church home. 

Wow.

This is only the beginning, there is so much work to be done but we are ready.
I'm on cloud 9 & thankful to God and I can't wait to see what is next.

My Family is My Heart

This is something really close to my heart so #1-this post might get really personal, #2 –this post might be long.

 

My family is very special to me.  I always wanted a family of my own since I was a little girl. A home with love and laughter and pitter patter feet and home cooked meals. After 10 years of marriage and 2 kids, I have grown very fond of what my husband and I have worked hard for.

 

As our oldest gets older and his younger brother follows in his footsteps, we have done our work as parents and laid the foundation of how and what God wants our kids to be and we will continue to do so.

 

As time goes on we will have to let go of the rope a little bit and let them go into the world on their own. The reality is that as much as I want to, I can’t control every aspect of their lives. They have to make their own mistakes. Because of the nature of my husband’s job and calling, this will potentially all be done in the midst of the church. I know that personally thoughts and words may be said towards us as parents but my prayer is that no one goes to our kids to smear our names or their names.  That will only make them eventually possibly resent the church.

 

I had a heart to heart with my oldest last night- I’ll spare you the details for now but I basically told him that as long as he is being good and doing what God wants Him to do to not listen to what anyone says about him because everyone makes mistakes.

 

Another thing I have seen happen and pray doesn’t happen to us is that so many sensitive issues are discussed in front of pastor’s children-not only should they not hear it due to confidentiality but in certain subject matters, it is not okay for kids to hear. They are only kids for a little while, please help me protect their minds and  hearts  and discuss certain issues on a meeting basis-not while we are standing  in  the foyer telling everyone goodbye. Sometimes this may include general but complaints.

I'm not ignorant in my thinking that I can shield my kids from everything because I know things come up. We've had recent real chats as a family about homosexual marriage, police shootings and terrorist attacks all on a 8 year old level, as these things come up we just talk it out. I wish my parents would have done that with me.

 

Sometimes I want to cover my son's ears and say "lalalaalala you didn't hear that" ...but I can't so in some conversations I may excuse myself. We don't mind waiting for my husband while you talk things out, we are professional tic tac toe players and I spy champions , I may even have a few crayons and snack in my purse for them because we don't ever know how long a meeting may take and that is okay.

 

My oldest is a patient, kind, loving, tender hearted child who love and are proud of their dad & so am I. Our youngest will learn the same. 

 

We will keep protecting our sweet little family. <3

We are not perfect and neither are our kids. Please don’t paint us in that light because we will let you down.